Saturday, December 29, 2012

Charles Barkley

On a recent episode of TNT Basketball show, TNT Basketball host and former NBA Basketball Player Charles Barkley made a joke. To paraphrase, he said that he had just seen Steven Spielberg's Lincoln, and now former president Abraham Lincoln, portrayed by Daniel Day-Lewis, was now his favorite president, because if it weren't for former president Lincoln, they would all be calling Ernie "boss." If you've never seen TNT Basketball show, Charles and two other commentators are black, and Ernie is white. So, the joke is that if it weren't for President Lincoln, the other three would still be slaves (Abraham Lincoln was the president when the thirteenth amendment, which outlawed slavery, was enacted) and Ernie would be their "boss." With his joke, Mr. Barkley is implying that had Mr. Lincoln not outlawed the act of slavery, nobody else would have, and so the black people on the TV set would be enslaved to the closest white person, in this case Ernie. Racial images aside, this joke implies three scenarios.

Scenario One: Charles Barkley did not know anything about Abraham Lincoln before seeing Steven Spielberg's Lincoln. This is not entirely out of the realm of possibility, and is the most logical conclusion that can be taken from Mr. Barkley's joke. Under this scenario, Mr. Barkley did not know that Mr. Lincoln was responsible for freeing the slaves and outlawing any future slavery. Under this scenario, Mr. Barkley then saw Steven Spielberg's Lincoln, learned that Abraham Lincoln, portrayed by Daniel Day-Lewis, was responsible for freeing the slaves. After learning this, Mr. Lincoln becomes Mr. Barkley's new favorite president. This is the most logical scenario for a few reasons. Mr. Barkley of course feels so passionately about the issue of slavery that the ender of slavery became his favorite president no questions asked. If Abraham Lincoln had been a drinker, and a womanizer, and a gambler, and a horse thief, we are to assume that he would still be Mr. Barkley's favorite president because he freed the slaves. The problem of this scenario is, of course, that Mr. Barkley went over 40 years of his life without knowing who was responsible for freeing the slaves. This is a problem, of course, because Mr. Lincoln, being a key figure in American history, is, based on anecdotal evidence, one of the most discussed characters today. So, that Mr. Barkley went the majority of his life without hearing about him would be upsetting for the american public school system, and the University of Auburn.

Scenario Two: Mr. Barkley's opinion of his favorite president changed upon seeing Steven Spielberg's Lincoln. This scenario should be summarily dismissed. This is the most disturbing scenario, more disturbing than the first.This implies that Mr. Barkley is so weak in his conviction that upon seeing a movie about Mr. Lincoln, Mr. Lincoln becomes his new favorite president. His track record shows that Mr. Barkley is a man of conviction, who is up front and honest, almost to a fault. This cannot be the case. Under this assumption, Mr. Barkley's favorite president would become former president Franklin Roosevelt after seeing Hyde Park on Hudson with me once he returns my emails. His favorite president would then become Terry Crews after seeing Idiocracy. He would then go back to Lincoln after seeing Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. This is the remotest of possibilities.

Scenario Three: Mr. Barkley is a comedic genius. This is entirely possible, and maybe the most believable. Under this scenario, Mr. Barkley understands the inherent contradiction of his joke, that it would imply that this is the first time he has learned about Mr. Lincoln, which would be absurd given how influential he was on the history of the country. Mr. Barkley also understands the inherent tension of the joke, being almost a faux pas that would assuredly make poor Ernie blush at the least. Mr. Barkley also understands the public backlash of making such a bold joke on TNT Basketball show, the main focus of which being to discuss all the happenings of Basketball, which makes a racial joke like the one Mr. Barkley told absurd and out of place. This is the most positive scenario, because it assumes Mr. Barkley was aware of Mr. Lincoln's impact, and also that Mr. Barkley has a sense of humor.