Filthy M&M Commercial

Welcome back to commercial deconstruction with me. I'm me, let's begin. In case you haven't seen the commercial, it's the filthy M&M commercial that you should be linked to by clicking on the word commercial. No, not that one, the other one. No, the first one. There we go. I'll wait.

Frankly, I'm shocked that is aired on TV. It implies a brutal sexual murder. How can they show this, and not allow people to swear in commercials? It's a double standard that needs to be stopped. Cannibalism and fetishism can be used to sell chocolate, but swearing is not allowed?

So, the culprit here is obviously the red head. By the way, isn't that profiling? Not all redheads are maniacs, advertisers. I've never been close enough to one to find out. I'm just assuming. But the real matter at hand is what's the fate of the red M&M? We can assume that the red headed woman is dangerous. Brown's friend told her to stay away from her because she would "devour" her. Now there's a chance that she meant it as a euphemism, but that's unlikely. The woman doesn't necessarily seem interested in her gender. She's more interested in the fact that she's made of chocolate. And, we know there's some animosity between Brown and Red, presumably because of Brown's perceived elitism. But does Brown so hate Red that she's going to send him to his very violent and most likely death? Apparently.

But if we're assuming that she's going to eat Red, the next question is just exactly who is Red? Like, what is his standing existentially? He's obviously able to make his own decisions. He's walking talking and thinking. So, does he deserve to be eaten? No. Also, just what does the red headed woman plan on doing with him? Assuming he's made of solid chocolate, that's a lot of chocolate. Does she really plan on eating him all in one sitting? Or is she going to cut off little pieces at a time? Is she going to keep him in her basement and eat him piece by piece? She should be arrested just for thinking about it. She should be arrested just for making me think about it. And the Brown M&M is an accessory. All to sell M&Ms.