Sunday, July 15, 2012

Red Robin

Rumor has it there is going to be another Red Robin in Vancouver. That will make three without crossing the river and, according to the Red Robin website, 14 near Vancouver. I'm not trying to single out Red Robin. There are two Applebee's on consecutive free way exits. The problem isn't necessarily the restaurant. I wouldn't choose to eat at either, but I won't actively avoid them. The problem is that we are coming up on three Red Robins and three Applebee's off the top of my head. We have roughly eight burger chain restaurant locations not counting fast food, and we have zero good Italian restaurants. I'm not even mentioning the Ol*ve Ga*den or the Old Spaghetti Factory, because the burger places are more egregious. There are at least three places with better burgers than Red Robin and Applebee's. Do you know where there is a good Italian restaurant in Vancouver? That's not a hypothetical question. If you know of a place, leave it in the comments. I've been to four* that I can remember. I don't remember the names, but I will rank them from worst to best:

4: The place where I ordered bolognese. I went to this place once and ordered bolognese. For all I know, they have the world's best bolognese and the one time I ordered it, the cook was in a joking mood. Maybe right when I ordered it, he thought "Hey, wouldn't it be hilarious if I gave this guy spaghetti with red sauce and shredded beef soaked in vinegar on top? Don't worry, I'll overcook the spaghetti." That's the best case scenario. Worst case scenario, they're not 100% sure what bolognese means. They heard somewhere that it has something to do with meat, so they just threw some beef on top. Either way, I'm not going to risk it again.

3. The place where I ordered gnocchi. I went to this place once and ordered gnocchi. I will state the positives first. The bread was pretty good. Now the negatives. Actually, I don't really know if it's a negative. I would say this is a good place to go if you want someone to heat up gnocchi for you and put pizza cheese on it. If you're against melted cheese on pasta, don't worry. It wasn't melted. The biggest problem with these gnocchi is that while time consuming, gnocchi are pretty easy to make. And the difference between prepackaged heated up gnocchi and home-made gnocchi is roughly the same as the difference between eating a ham sandwich and being punched in the throat. I would tolerate being in an unhappy relationship longer than I will tolerate eating prepackaged gnocchi. I would marry a woman just because she makes gnocchi. And in our later years, when we realize the only thing we have in common is that she likes to make gnocchi and I like to eat them, and we begin to hate each other bitterly, but we stay together because it's easier than splitting everything up and trying to meet someone new so late in life, I will be happy because I'm not eating store bought gnocchi. I would rather be a suspect in the investigation surrounding my wife's suspicious death than eat store bought gnocchi. I haven't been back to this place.

2. The place where I ordered spaghetti. I ordered spaghetti at this place for a baseline. I wanted to see if it would be as bad as I thought. It was exactly what I was expecting: overcooked pasta and canned sauce. I would call this place the standard.

1. The place where I ordered carbonara. They put cream in their carbonara. I know there are some people who put cream in their carbonara and some who don't. I prefer it without. This was by far the best pasta in Vancouver. It was OK. I've had better.

*I have been tricked into going to Olive Garden once. I prefer not to acknowledge it.

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