Summer Movie Primer

I've decided that it's a good point in the summer for a summer movie primer. This will be a definitive source of information for you when deciding what movie to go see during the summer. Since we're already part of the way through the summer movie season, there will be some movies that have come out already, and some that have yet to come out. I of course haven't seen the ones that haven't come out yet, but they will mostly be  movies that I'm anticipating. I'll try to start with the movies that have already come out. I doubt they're all still in theaters but you could probably rent them. I've never rented a movie so I'm not sure how that works.

It seems sketchy to me. You're paying five dollars to have a movie for a few days, when a brand new movie is fifteen dollars max. In essence, the options are pay five dollars to have a movie for three days (or however long, again I've never done it) or pay ten more dollars to have it until you die or give it away or do whatever you want with it. I think the person at the counter at every movie renting store should be legally obligated to say "You know that if you just pay a little bit more you get to keep it forever?" If the person still decides to rent it, their name should be put on a list and their vote shouldn't count. I don't want that person voting for the president.

There are a lot of people I don't actually want voting for the president, unfortunately there is no way to effectively keep them from voting. Maybe if their names were on a list, we could just not count their vote, but then the person who monitors that list would have too much power. There could be someone at the polls turning people away, but again too much power. And that doesn't account for mail in voters. So, until people who rent DVDs instead of buying them can take responsibility for their terrible decisions and abstain from voting for the president, there will be no way to keep these scoundrels from making their voices heard. Actually, the presidency is determined by the electoral college, and not the popular vote anyways, so it doesn't really matter. Onto the movies:

Drive: I realize that it came out in 2011, but it was my favorite movie of 2011. If you're a movie renting communist, you can rent this probably. I don't like to oversell movies, so I'll just say that it was my favorite movie of 2011, and it's on track to be my favorite movie of 2012. Also, every time I see a copy of it on DVD for SALE, the impulse in my brain is "they sell Drive, you need to buy Drive."

True Grit: Again, this one didn't come out this year, but it was good. I would say it was better than the original. If you haven't seen it, you should.

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo: I promise this is the last movie that didn't come out this year. But this one is really good too, if you don't mind graphic rape scenes.

The Hunger Games: I haven't read the books or anything, but it wasn't bad if you don't mind teen love stories.

The Avengers: The Avengers was good, if you don't mind super hero movies. And if you haven't seen the other three (Iron Man, Thor, and Captain America), they're pretty good if you don't mind super hero movies.

Safety Not Guaranteed: I liked this one. It might be out of theaters already. It's good if you like Mark Duplass ventures.

Brave: I liked it. The short wasn't my favorite. My favorite is the one where the old guy plays chess with himself. The word "chess" really saved that sentence. It's good if you like animated movies.

Moonrise Kingdom: Go see Moonrise Kingdom.

That's all the good summer movies I can think of so far. You can officially skip The Lorax. You're welcome. I haven't seen Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter yet. Oh, I'll start the ones I haven't seen yet.

Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter: I haven't seen this yet, but I read the book. The book was weird, and I don't see how they can make a good movie out of it. It's one third biographical, one third vampire hunting, and one third pro union propaganda.

You'll notice I've stopped the Drive related links. I don't want to associate any of these movies I haven't seen with Drive, in case they're not good. 

Wait I forgot a good one. The Amazing Spider-man is good if you like Spider-man movies.

Ted: Go ahead and skip it.

Dark Knight Rises: I'll probably see this one, even though Christian Bale was part of the team that ruined the Terminator franchise.

Terminator: I realize it came out in the 80's but it's great, and I heard that some theater in Portland was just playing it. Go see it, or if you OWN it on DVD you should watch it.

Well, that's all the movies I can think of that come out this summer. If there's one I forgot, leave it in the comments, and I'll tell you whether or not to see it. Have fun watching Drive.