NFL Draft: All Hail Clowney

This is a weird year for the NFL draft (there's a guy named Barkevious.) And since I can talk to this piece of paper and it can't run away, or politely change the subject, or just get up and walk away, or tell me it doesn't want to hang out with me anymore, and then sleep with my girlfriend, get ready for the first annual Zackipedia NFL draft coverage.

Anyone can post a mock draft, so I'm not going to waste your time. Mostly because I would normally do it, but it would just be me finding a way for the best player to get to the Seahawks, and they don't have a first round pick this year. But, here are the biggest story lines of the 2013 NFL draft, according to me. 

Jadeveon Clowney- Make no mistake, Jadeveon Clowney is the number one story in anything football related. Yes, the Ravens won the Superbowl, but that was in a Pre-Clowney era. Yes, 4 NFL players might come out of the closet, but how does this affect who gets the Clowney Pick next year. Yes, there are countless people with jelly brains suing the NFL, but how many more will there be once Clowney is in the league? He almost killed a guy last year. So, there are two potential story Clowney lines this year:

1) The Chiefs announce they're taking Luke Joeckel (Joeckel just sounds like the name of a Kansas City Chief) and as soon as he announces it, the car crash sound plays over the PA and Stone Cold Steve Austin's ring anthem plays, but here's the catch: in walks Clowney. He walks up to the stage, and Joeckel tries and fails to stop him. Andy Reid's face turns red, marking the official beginning of the football season. Clowney goes up to the podium, rips the microphone from Goodell's hand, and basically gives the "see you at Wrestlemania" speech that every wrestler seems to give, but instead of see you at Wrestlemania, it's see you next year. Eric Fisher cowers in his seat, because he knows he's next. The Jacksonville Jaguars take Matt Barkley with the second pick, basically assuring themselves the Clowney Pick. 

2) One team drafts Clowney this year. Sure, he's not eligible, but who cares about rules? When does change happen? When somebody breaks the rules. If nobody ever broke the rules, we would still be living in England, eating baked beans and brushing our teeth with frosting. And how great would it be if teams could draft college players before they are eligible to come out? So one team this year, let's call them the "Seahawks" drafts Clowney this year. This wouldn't mean he could come out and play in the NFL this year. The "Seahawks" would just have his rights. So, next year when he leaves school, he's not in the draft, he just goes to Seattle. This would dramatically change the landscape of the NFL. The only rule would be the player has to have completed one year of college. So let's say the top prospect finishes his first year, and some team wants to take him. How high do you take him? It's still about risk management. He could take a class in oceanography the next semester and realize he's found his calling and quit football. Or he could injure his knee. The point is, I want Clowney on the Seahawks, and this is the only way I can see it happening.